Dancing in the Dark

Art Moi

2008-02-02T23:59:00.001-08:00

today was a fun art day! i created a first draft of a piece inspired by my and oliver's twisted senses of humor-

Weight for me in the unemployment line.

2008-01-19T12:14:00.000-08:00

Long time, no real update. Here's what has been going on with me the past few months:

I was fired from my job at the zoo 2 days before Thanksgiving. This sucked, but was the best thing to happen to me in a long time.

I was unhappy being there, and my 2 bosses were unhappy having me there. I wrote an email to both of them and cc'd the manager of the foundation that explained why I did not respect or trust either of them. This didn't go well with my bosses, but the manager understood and wanted to help me find a different job. She didn't want to fire me, but I think my email pissed off my bosses and they wanted to find a way to make me leave.

Sure enough, they found one, and i was let go less than a week after the incident. I could say so many things about who and what and why, but everyone involved knows that it came down to the fact that I was unhappy and should have left a long time ago. I was not OK with being a data entry clerk and providing over-the-phone customer service to lame asses.

Being fired has afforded me two luxuries:

1. I qualified for unemployment since the state felt that the reasons for my dismissal were not valid.

2. I've spent a lot of time creating art (mostly painting and duct tape related), looking for better jobs, volunteering, and getting my life back under control.

I hold no animosity toward my former employer, and I even reached out to my direct supervisor to see if she wanted to bury the hatchet and try to have a friendship. Apparently she doesn't and would rather let it all boil and fester inside since she never replied to my email. That sucks because I really like her and she is a burner. Oh well, we all make our own choices.

Soon I will have my CPR and first aid training business up and running so that I can go off of unemployment. I look forward to that fast approaching day so that I can finally be leading the life I want to lead.

I recently started Weight Watchers with my roommate. This is one of the best things I have ever done for myself. I have lost 7.8 lbs since I have started the program!

I enjoy WW because it's not a diet. It's a body check on a food level instead of the ice. You're taught how to read a food label, how to exercise, and how to look at food as substance of sustenance instead of comfort.

I can eat whatever I want, I just can't go over my points for the day. It all comes down to math: If you weigh this much, then you should eat no more than this amount of calories in a day in order to safely loose weight. That's it. That's the big secret.

You also attend meetings and get support from your peers. People at the meetings discuss a variety of things and tell their success stories. I don't think some people really get it, but maybe they will. Here's an example of what I mean:

A person who doesn't get it will say this at a meeting: "I just found this great non-fat coffee creamer! I try not to eat all of my Flex Points for the week."

A person who does get it will say this at a meeting while putting regular half and half in their coffee: "I no longer have to take my diabetes or blood pressure medicine. I feel the best I have in 20 years. I'm going to be able to see my grandkids go through college."

See the difference? Weight Watchers is not about buying a pre-packaged meal, taking medicine, or finding substitutes for real food. It's about learning how to control your eating and exercise habits so that you can feel great about yourself and your life.

I can't wait until i weigh less than the weight printed on my driver's license. I think I'll cry.

life at the speed of light

2007-11-08T06:45:00.000-08:00

things have been nuts. my schedule as of late:

monday-thursday:
6-:6:30am - wake up
6:50am - leave for work
5:00pm - get off of work and head to theatre
10:00pm - leave theatre and head home
11:00pm - get home, check email and eat if not completely exhausted, go to bed.

friday
6-:6:30am - wake up
6:50am - leave for work
5:00pm - get off of work and head to wherever to chill the fuck out

saturday-sunday
wake up whenever unless i have a class or am volunteering somwhere
hula hoop my ass off

my schedule starting this saturday:

saturday:
sometime am - wake up and head to theatre
paper/dry tech most of the day

sunday:
8:00am - wake up
9:00am - head to theatre
10:00am - finalize paper/dry tech
12:00pm - q2q
2:15pm - line speed through
3:30pm - wet tech
5:30 - possible dress run
7:30pm - go home and pass the fuck out

monday:
sleep in! no work!
5:00pm - head to theatre
7:00pm - start dress run
some ungodly hour of the night - head home and pass the fuck out!

tuesday-wednesday:
6-:6:30am - wake up, start drinking heavily.
6:50am - leave for work
5:00pm - get off of work and head to theatre for dress run, bump stimulants when no one is looking
some ungodly hour - leave theatre and head home
a few hours before having to go to work - get home, check email and eat if not completely exhausted, pass out from drinking all day.

thursday:
6-:6:30am - wake up, start drinking heavily. send hateful emails to friends and loved ones for not understanding me. piss in the living room and blame it on our cat, coco, even though we don't own any pets and not realizing that coco is cat mentioned in the play. the world of reality and the play have melted together.
6:50am - leave for work
5:00pm - get off of work and head to theatre for final dress run/preview, bump stimulants without caring if anyone is looking.
some ungodly hour - leave theatre and head home
a few hours before having to go to work - get home, check email and eat if not completely exhausted, pass out from drinking all day.

friday:
6-:6:30am - wake up, vomit from drinking all week, continue drinking heavily, but incorporate coffee and stimulants into each drink.
6:50am - leave for work
10:00am - 11:00am - actually show up at work, wearing different (if any) clothes than what i left the house with, and having no recollection of the events that occurred over the past 2-3 hours.
5:00pm - get off of work and head to theatre for opening night, bump stimulants while everyone is looking - offer to share. tell the actors that you really don't care about what they do on stage because you're masturbating in the booth anyways.
8:00pm - curtain, start doing lines of coke of of lighting control board. try to pay attention to the show so as not to miss any cues.
9:30pm - curtain call
9:45pm-10pm - director makes toast and thanks everyone for their hard work. laugh at inappropriate times during the toast while drinking from person flask(s)/champagne glass.
10pm - drink with cast at various bars, pick-up a 14 year old male prosti-tot, call a cab and head out.
3-5am - 40yo man drops me off in front my house in his pick-up truck. i have one shoe on and a red-sequined cocktail dress. pass out on the front porch while attempting to unlock the dead bolt.

saturday:
7-8am - stir a little and realize that i have to be out at the tuallatin valley fire and rescue training center by 9am to teach a class on basic life support to a group of health care providers. quickly shower while drinking coffee, slip into some presentable clothes, call a cab.
8:55am - show up at training center and bitch about $60.00 cab fair
9:00am - start training while being observed by an official from my own training center.
2:00pm - class is over. head home. crash.
5:00pm - wake up and head to theatre.
6:00-6:30pm - actors start arriving. apologize for my behavior. one cast member looks at me with lustful eyes - wish i could remember what happened.
8:00pm - curtain
9:30pm - curtain call
10:00pm - head to hospital to put my name on the "waiting for a liver transplant" list. yell at the nurse when they refuse to do it, threaten his/her/zer family.
11:06pm - head to jail in the back of a police car.

sunday:
8:00am - call the director and tell him where i am. ask him to post bail.
9:00am - director shows up and posts bail, yells at me, and tells me that i make him weep for humanity.
11:00am - head to theatre for sunday matinée.
2:00pm - curtain
3:30pm - curtain call
4:00pm - head home
5:00pm - discover eviction notice on door. apparently peeing in the living room was not ok. start drinking heavily.
5:45pm - call friends and break down in tears. apologize for being a jerk.

schedule after that:
repeat thursday-sunday until show closes on december 9.

swan song

2007-10-17T06:15:00.000-07:00

fellow readers and passersby,

fall guy theatre's production of the house of yes will be my final foray into theatre as a stage manager. i'm hanging up my blacks in order to focus on being a full time physical artist instead of a behind the scenes one. so, this will be your last chance to see me behind the scenes.

i'm hoping that my future work will sometimes crossover onto the stage in the form of props or set, but rest assured that i shall covet the cramped space of a control booth no more. i have served as a techie for a total of 14 years.

2007-10-04T09:08:00.001-07:00

rehearsals are under way for fall guy theatre's production of the house of yes by wendy macleod. this is one of my top five favorite straight (non-musical) plays and i'm excited to once again be working with some of my favorite people! we're having such a good time that we're actually keeping a communal blog. i hope all of you can come see it, and i'm shouting out a big thank you to tmonsta for plugging the show and doing the preliminary leg work for a group outing to the theatre. word of mouth is the best form of advertising!

since i mentioned that house of yes is one of my top five favorite straight plays, i might as well give you the whole list. so, here there are - in no particular order:

house of yes by wendy macleod
a bright room called day by tony kushner
titus andronicus by william shakespeare
the flu season by will eno
ladies in retirement by reginald denham and edward percy

today in spam

2007-09-25T11:20:00.001-07:00

Some subject highlights from today's spam box:
-and my comments!

by the luscious dark babe feeling herself up
-new battle cry for he-man? she-ra?

Do you think Bill and I are going to make a good couple?
-bill cheats on you hillary. get over it and focus more on your campaign.

Your Phenterm1ne 0rder #3561443
-i've been wondering where my phentermlne is.

The certain way to save money is to buy medicines
-that's why i bought phentermlne.

rise the length of nipplepierced virgin with nice hard round titties
-and all this time i've been using stalks of celery to raise the length of my nipplepierced virgin.

FROM FEDERAL HIGH COURT OF NIGERIA.
-MUST BE IMPORTANT IF THEY HAVE TO SHOUT IT!

All data is transmitted through a secure server by our credit card processor.
-that is a comfort. i was worried that someone had stolen my identity and i wouldn't get my phentermlne.

jam on!

2007-09-23T15:23:00.000-07:00

last night i went to the rose city rollerssemi-final bout! it rocked my world, even though my team, the guns n rollers lost. it was a a great time because i was with scotty, suzanne, mahotma blondie, chrispyfur, nikki nightrain, and lloydz. i love my crew!

damn, roller derby is the best sport in the world!

swiftly down the chimney

2007-09-13T15:24:00.000-07:00

on tuesday i went with my friends charise and christopher to watch the swifts. this was one of the coolest things i've seen! basically a whole bunch of people gather with their pick nick baskets and wine to watch thousands of birds swirl around an old chimney before they eventually dive in a few at a time until the sky is clear. these magnificent birds gather for about 6 weeks in the fall to roost together before heading south. it was amazing to watch them swirl around and try to dodge the oncoming attacks of hawks.

i think i'm going to go again, anyone want to join me?

from another dimension

2007-09-12T21:44:00.001-07:00

i'm condensing down to two identical blogs instead of 4 (the one you are reading now, and this one. i know, it's crazy that i want to try and cut down on the amount of times i fucking have to copy, paste, reformat. geez, you'd think i'm trying to make my life easier or something!

anywho, i was going deleting my old myspace blogs when i found the below gems and decided to present them for your nostalgic enjoyment.

April 17, 2004 - Saturday

Feeling up destiny

fried egg, fried egg. SPAM, SPAM, SPAM. falling over mayonnaise, landing in ketchup...fry sauce!

please touch my ear. i need love. fall for me, fall for me. kiss my toe.

find a penis in the drawer, wear it for a crown. nuts to this, nuts to this. find me a cow.

feeling up destiny.

February 10, 2004 - Tuesday

looking for a good time

hello.

please leave a message after the tone......tone.....

"um, hello? hello?...don't tell me i got the fucking answering machine...son-of-a-bitch!...hey...hey, nadene! put down that pipe and listen to this....every time i try to buy crack off of this punk ass i always get the machine. i'm gonna cut this motha up real nice, yo...BITCH!!!"

t:ba

2007-09-12T21:31:00.001-07:00

yesterday, today, and tomorrow are the three days i signed up to participate in the reading out loud program for the tba festival. yesterday i read don delillo's libra out loud around the front entrance to powell's, and today i read john steinbeck's the grapes of wrath out loud just outside of pam. it's been a lot of fun so far.

i can't wait to see who i'm reading tomorrow and where i'll be!

the best was left for last

2007-09-11T10:06:00.000-07:00

last night was my final night of performing in the tba. i read from joseph heller's novel catch 22. i was in the pearl this time, near jamison park. i enjoyed reading this book very much and really got into it. several people made comments and asked what was going on. it was a very positive experience and i plan on doing it again next year.

from now until the end of the week i get to relax and enjoy other people's performances and exhibitions for the tba festival!

it hapened one week.

2007-09-07T22:21:00.000-07:00

two thousand and seven yielded my second year at burning man.

what a trip! so many things happened that i'm not sure what to think. most notably, i reconnected with my long lost friend ryan, and i had a spiritual journey that led to self discovery.

ryan is growing on me like smiling at sunrise! which, by the way, is the best thing since baby wipes! he's an awesome guy and i can't wait to initiate him into the annals of life long friends. wow, just wow! we've committed to visiting each other in our perspective cities of residence, so i can't wait to get the ball rolling on that. it's so exciting when you cultivate a friendship into something beautiful and insane. i'm not talking a romantic journey here, but a strong fraternal relationship that lasts for an indefinite amount of time. besides, he's into girls and he's not exactly my type. i much prefer the skaters or computer nerds.

my spiritual journey was on my own, of course. i realized while meditating in front of a brass lotus way out by the trash fence one night that i am an artist and that i need to work on making that my number one priority. i'm going to go full steam ahead on this one and can't wait to see the outcome. life is about to get more dangerous and titillating!

it's clean...

2007-06-21T12:48:00.001-07:00

...the apartment that is!

my roommate and i cleaned the fuck out of the apartment last night! my room is a frakin' mess, but the rest of the place looks great!

this was brought on by the fact that my roommie's mom is coming into town tomorrow. he hasn't seen her in about four years, so he thought it'd be nice if the place looked livable. i'll try to post some pics...

E-V-I-L -- The List!

2007-06-08T12:56:00.000-07:00

My list of E-V-I-L

In order from most evil to least evil.

1. bunnies

2. alberto gonzales

3. walt disney

4. george w bush

5. wal*mart

6. poachers

7. insurance companies

8. itunes and ipods

9. PETA

10. myspace.com (wow, i'm such a hypocrite)

i reserve the right to add more items to the list and/or change the order at any time.

hello my name is...

2007-05-29T23:37:00.000-07:00

donnie darko

i'm new to blogspot, and i keep a second blog on here

i'm gonna try and post in both from now on...